Gilmore Announces Plans for Charter School

Former National Party list MP, Aaron Gilmore, has today announced plans to apply to run a new charter school.

Gilmore, who lost his job recently following an angry outburst at an expensive Hanmer Springs retreat for he and his National Party colleagues, has said he believes his future lies in promoted positive outcomes for young New Zealanders.

Gilmore, who recently lost his job after dancing loudly in front of a waiter, has told My Thinks about the ethos behind his revolutionary new charter school proposal.

“It’s about getting the kids to stand up for themselves,” he said while stroking his parliamentary security pass reticently, “Kiwi kids are too quiet. They spend far too much time saying nothing. My plan is to open up a school that focuses on improving their self-esteem and their ability to speak out in pubic situations that are either scary for them, or at times that are entirely inappropriate.”

Gilmore, who is now looking for work following a recent falling out with his employer, says, “I have already signed up a range of people with an excellent knowledge base to draw from. Some of the courses include: The Importance of Self Importance with Dr the very Bishop Brian Tamaki, How to Look Good First Thing in the Morning with Professor Jamie Ridge, and Saying Loud Things Loudly with Associate Professor His Worship Tim Shadbolt.”

Gilmore, who will be taking the Don’t You Know Who I Am? course, says it’s important that the first charter schools to open in New Zealand cater to a wide range of diverse learning needs. “That’s why we’ve offered I Don’t Know What I Am with Doctor Dame Susan Devoy.

Prime Minister John Key, who was recently photographed with Gilmore at a sumptuous National Party function, where Gilmore later embarrassed himself, the party and many of the lower ranked National Party list MPs who may be out of a job at the next election, said he welcomed the announcement.

“I don’t know who this guy is,” Key told My Thinks, “but he sounds exactly like the kind of idiot we want educating our children in the 21st century.”

Key then went on to say that everybody knew who he was and that being Prime Minister was really, really cool and everyone should have a go. He then offered to change some legislation if I opened my wallet for him.

My Thinks was tempted, but we declined.

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