Key stands firm on stance

Prime Minister John Key was today firm on his Iraq war stance. The National Party leader was being questioned following this week’s release of the long-awaiting Chilcot Report into the decision by Tony Blair to destroy the country of Iraq.

Key, in opposition at the time, spoke out against Helen Clark’s decision not to join the Coalition of the Insane set up by Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld. At the time Key was adamant that Saddam Hussein had weapons of mass destruction because, “Tony Blair said there was and I had no reason not to believe him because he always told the truth.”

The Prime Minister was holding a stand up outside a factory where he was celebrating the National-led government’s 90 day . Media asked whether he regretted his decision to support the destruction of Iraq.

“Of course not,” said Key, “I believe in never admitting I’m wrong even when I’m wrong. But in this case I wasn’t wrong. Because Tony Blair says I wasn’t.”

Blair, whose reputation, which was already tenuous because of his continued insistence his decision to back the US-led war in Iraq was totes fine, ended up beingĀ decimated by the report from retired civil servant Sir John Chilcot.

“Look,” he said at a marathon 6 hour press conference where he tried, in vain, to convince the throng of media and himself that what he did wasn’t a war crime, “I am with John Key – the current Prime Minister of New Zealand (perhaps you’ve heard of him) – at the time we could only go by the information we were given by our press office. That information said there were WMD in Iraq. I had no reason to disbelieve the Labour Party media office. So I committed British troops to the war. ”

After playing Blair’s press conference to gathered media on his phone, John Key said, “See. Tony Blair was telling the truth because Tony Blair said he was telling the truth. That’s all the truth I need.”

Key left the bemused media slapping Steven Joyce on the butt and congratulating himself for defusing situation.

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