Tag Archives: Housing Crisis

Guest post: what National are doing for housing

MyThinks has been, shall we say, hassling the government over their inaction with regards to the “housing challenge” currently being faced by every New Zealander who doesn’t own a house. That’s why we’ve inviting economic advisor to National, Rijk von Kont Gat, to outline exactly what the government is doing to lift housing supply.

The National-led government has been implementing a vast range of measures to deal with the current challenges in the housing market around the country. These include:

So there you have it. A comprehensive 20-point plan the National Party has for dealing with challenges around the supply of housing.

Thank you for this opportunity to present our case.

Steven Joyce: mi casa policy es tu casa policy

PRESS RELEASE: THE BEEHIVE

BEGINS

Steven Joyce, the Minister for Fixing Up Nick Smith’s Mess, has today slammed the comprehensive housing policy released by Labour over the weekend. Mr. Joyce, who has a vast knowledge across a multitude of portfolios, has said the Labour Party plan is completely unworkable.

“What they’ve done is incomprehensible, incomplete, inept and barking mad,” said Mr. Joyce.

“They are going to spend $2 billion to build millions of affordable homes. Where is this money coming from? The magic money pixies? What if they can’t find the money? What will they do then? Head off to the photocopier to print more?”

Mr. Joyce’s was withering in his criticism of Labour’s plan to stop taking dividends from Housing New Zealand.

“It’s just ridiculous. You can’t go around letting State-owned enterprises reinvest their profits into double glazing, insulation and new house builds. It just doesn’t make sense.”

“And by the way,” he said, “National is already doing all these things anyway. So suck on that.”

ENDS

Bill English: we were the first

Today on The Nation, the Finance Minister Bill English was interviewed about his government’s reaction to the housing crisis, homelessness and the general unwell-being of many New Zealanders. We at MyThinks got stuck in and whipped out the transcript of that interview. Here are the words of that transcript. 

LISA OWEN: Good morning Mr English.

BILL ENGLISH: Good morning.

LISA OWEN: Let’s get right to it. Your government has come under fire in recent months over the number of New Zealanders who are being completely excluded from the housing market. How do you react to this?

Bill

I’m on the television speaking words.

BILL ENGLISH: Thank you, Lisa, but you have to remember that the National-led government increased the benefit by $25 last year. We were the first government to lift benefits in decades.

LISA OWEN: Yes, but how do you react to the many politicians, experts and ordinary New Zealanders saying you are not doing enough.

BILL ENGLISH: Yes, Lisa, you have to remember that the National-led government increased the benefit by $25 last year. We were the first government to lift benefits in decades.

LISA OWEN: But minister, that’s not really answering the question. How do you react to those who say you aren’t doing enough.

BILL ENGLISH: That’s simple, Lisa. You need to remember that the National-led government increased the benefit by $25 last year. We were the first government to lift benefits in decades.

LISA OWEN: Am I going to be able to get you to answer this question, Mr. English?

BILL ENGLISH: You totally are Lisa. The National-led government increased the benefit by $25 last year. We were the first government to lift benefits in decades.

LISA OWEN: What if I asked a different question?

BILL ENGLISH: It probably wouldn’t matter Lisa because you have to remember that the National-led government increased the benefit by $25 last year. We were the first government to lift benefits in decades.

LISA OWEN: What about sausages? Do you like sausages?

BILL ENGLISH: That depends on what flavour Lisa. You must remember that the National-led government increased the benefit by $25 last year. We were the first government to lift benefits in decades. $25 is a lot of sausages.

LISA OWEN: Are you embarrassed that you can only say one thing at the moment, minister?

BILL ENGLISH: Not really, Lisa. You should really take the time to remember that the National-led government increased the benefit by $25 last year. We were the first government to lift benefits in decades.

LISA OWEN: Well, minister, unfortunately that’s all we have time for today. Thank you Bill English.

BILL ENGLISH: Thank you, Lisa, for giving me the chance to remind you and all your viewers that the National-led government increased the benefit by $25 last year. We were the first government to lift benefits in decades.

ENDS

$1 billion dollars

We in the National Party pride ourselves on our record of sound financial management, growth, jobs and blaming Labour.

What better way to celebrate our conference weekend than by releasing a policy that makes us look like where doing something about housing.

Remember: there is nothing currently wrong with housing in New Zealand. It’s all fine. There is absolutely nothing we need to be doing.

So here’s what we’re going to do. Quite simply we are planning to kickstart the massive infrastructure build that is required to increase the supply of housing to deal with the housing supply issues that are definitely not our fault.

drevil_cover

1 billion dollars

We are going to make $1 billion available for councils to borrow to build the roads we need to build all the houses. The councils will be able to borrow the money off us and pay it back at a later date. This is very clever economic management from your National Party. That’s how neoliberal economic theory – borrow now and pay back later when you’re out of office.

We are confident that this plan will deal with any perceived problems there might be in and around housing that aren’t our fault.

Remember: it’s not a crisis if we don’t call it one.

An apology to Ms. Bennett

Yesterday morning the MyThinks blog published a short post in which we satirised the situation faced this week by National Party cabinet minister Paula Bennett. In the post we hilariously suggested that Ms. Bennett was a fragile person who was struggling to come to terms with the current self-inflicted malaise she found herself in. We implied, through innuendo, that Ms. Bennett may be a liar because she was a National Party politician. We said:

You know, the thing that really gets in my craw, the most hurtful thing, is the fact the opposition have been calling me a liar. It’s so outrageous it’s laughable. I am not a liar. I never lie. I have never lied in all my years as a National Party politician. Never. Not once. I have only ever told the complete and utter truth. And the truth is this: I don’t lie. Ever.

After being contacted by her office late last evening we now agree with their assessment of the situation. On no occasion during the last week did Ms. Bennett lie, tell fibs or mislead in any way. We agree with her office representative that Ms. Bennett has worked tirelessly this week not lying to members of the media, people she has met with, or New Zealanders as a whole.

To suggest Ms. Bennett is a liar besmirches not only her reputation but the reputation of all National Party MPs past, present and future.

MyThinks apologises for the suggestion that Ms. Bennett is a liar. To imply otherwise is simply misleading and utterly unprofessional.

We are now also under police investigation.

Thank you and good day.