Today is the goodest of Fridays. What better way to celebrate a day off work when everything is closed to honour one of the greatest minds ever to nestle his parliamentary buttocks one of those gigantic green seats in the debating chamber.
Ladies and gentlement I give you… Mr David Seymour.
ACT leader and perenial tween David Seymour first came to national prominance as an understudy to well known racist John Banks. He made instant waves with this video:
Excellent. These were great days in the emergence of a young, worm-like Seymour from the festering cocoon of an aging National Party.
As the years went on, and with the Epsom electorate continuing to elect him ahead of famed historian Dr Paul “Goldie” Goldsmith, Seymour went from strength to strength. From announcing the National Party’s charter school policy on his first morning in parliament to championing doyens of modern society such as the tobacco industry and petrolium exploration consultants.
Yesterday, however, it was quickly realised we had reached Peak Seymour when the young tweenager released the following tweet:
Seymour makes a fantastic point. What about all the job losses that have occured from all the people who haven’t been hired by anyone yet? If the minimum wage keeps rising, as is likely under the current regime, many thousands of jobs that are yet to exist will be lost. It’s a real shame employers are forced to pay workers anything at all.
Where does Seymour go from here though? What is next for this plucky little 14 year old? Will he continue to champion the wonderful world of carbon-based ground exploration? Will he continue to fight for the right of law-abiding gun owners to assassinate innocent baby animals with a range semi-automatic weaponry? Will he ever graduate high school and go to university?
So many questions for one so young.
We at MyThinks wish you well this Mr Seymour. Happy long weekend young chap. Enjoy.