Collins shows us how to get interviewed

Today on the flagship Radio New Zealand breakfast news show Morning Report, the leader of the opposition, Ms Judith Collins, was on hand to school the country on how to get interviewed. Here is our transcript of that interview.

Suzie: Back now to politics. Judith Collins and Jacinda Adern were both squaring up to each other in last night’s leaders’ debate hosted by The Press and National Party leader Judith Collins is with me now. Kia ora.

Judith: Ata Marie.

Suzie: During the debate last night, why did you peddle misinformation about the closure of the New Zealand boarder when compared with Samoa.

Judith: Well, I didn’t.

Suzie: But you did.

Judith: No I didn’t, Suzie.

Suzie: But you said that Samoa closed their boarder a full month before New Zealand.

Judith: No.

Suzie: No you didn’t or no that’s wrong?

Judith: Yes. Completely. Look, I think the real tragedy here is the Labour Party who have lead the country down the tragic path of being completely against Samoa. I love Samoa. Talofa Suzie. Samoa.

Suzie: Yes, but why did you peddle misinformation about Samoa closing their boarder before New Zealand…

Judith: Look, Suzie. I think you need to focus on the fact that I, the person speaking, is the one who is saying the right thing.

Suzie: Ok then. I think I’m wasting my time here. Let’s go somewhere else. Is your party leaking because there is no confidence in your leadership?

Judith: Oh, goodness me no Suzie. My leadership is sound. My team is strong. Strong team. We are a strong, strong team. Of team members.

Suzie: But what about all the leaks Ms Collins. It would seem to indicate, would it not, that your party is against you. Everybody is leaking and you are making policy on the hoof.

Judith: What a load of poppycock, Suzie. You have the wrong information. None of us said what you are saying we said. We said the stuff I’m saying we said, not the stuff you are saying we said. That’s what I’m saying.

Suzie: Aren’t you worried that people will think you are bulldozing over National’s election strategy?

Judith: The leader, Suzie, is the one who makes the policy. It is the leader’s job to announce the policy. Sometimes, Suzie, it is the leader’s job to make decisions and announcements. Plus, my MPs have recognised that my decisions are made by me, and I stand by my decisions. That’s what I’ve decided.

Suzie: Who leaked the email? Was it Paula Bennett? She was getting loads of retweets yesterday after dropping the BS bomb against Matthew Hooton.

Judith: Look Susan, that is a matter for me and the caucus. I am happy with what I am doing. My caucus have travelled with me around the country. What happens in caucus stays in caucus. Unless I leak it.

Suzie: What about the pictures of you praying the other day. Were they just a beat up? Were you actually praying or was that just for the cameras?

Judith: I find it deeply offensive that people are making a big deal about me praying. I was in the chapel by myself praying and the media came in. You pray in a chapel – that’s quite normal. You pray for guidance. You pray to ask for clarity in your life. You pay for any number of reasons. To quote that great poet and artiste MC Hammer, Susanigan, that’s why we pray.

Suzie: Very good. Thank you for your time Judith Collins. It’s been a pleasure talking to you.

Judith: No, thank you the People’s Republic of Susanistan. I really enjoy talking to you every week. I’m energised in sharing a vision of the future that isn’t negative – unless it’s a vision of Labour’s future, in which case it will be supremely negative. Good morning to you.

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