I’m Todd Muller and I like it


My name is Todd Muller and I am the leader of the National Party of New Zealand.

Many people come up to me on the street and ask me who I am. I’m often walking through Tauranga, or in a mall in suburban Auckland, or maybe even a farmers’ market in Morrinsville and people just come right up and ask, “Who are you and why are you touching my cabbages?”

This is not unusual for a leader of the opposition.

Firstly, I think it is incredibly important to point out that the National Party has a plan. Our plan has been in the development stages for months – long before I rolled Soymun Brudges (*thanks Hoots!). If you were to liken it to, say, a Holden being done up in someone’s garage, the National Party is the guy under the car who’s all greasy and yelling to his son, “get me the damn socket wrench before this drips transmission fluid down my throat!”

We have a plan, and that’s the plan… and what a plan.

Now… to the politics of the day.

The country is currently reeling from the twin disasters of Covid-19 and the Labour Party led by Winston Peters.

The Prime Minister and her cabinet have completely lost control of the situation. There are people coming into the country from all over the world fully diseased and ready to spread their disease all over the country. Michael Woodhouse even told me that every person coming into New Zealand is being forced to sneeze into jars. What they are doing with these jars I shudder to think.

And apart from letting far too many people back into the country, the government are not letting enough people into the country. The government should be opening up the borders, not shutting them down. The economy has been hamstrung for far too long. Letting more people in to New Zealand will give the economy a super-charged boost. Like the kind of boost you get if your big brother is giving you a leg up to jump the fence at the school pool (I never did that, mind you… but I heard other people did it and opened the gate for me).

Well… that’s about it from me. Remember, if you see me walking down the street do come up and say, “hi!” and I’m sure I can assess your cabbages.

Kindest regards,

Todd xxx

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