National Party: young offenders need to be dealt with

PRESS RELEASE: NATIONAL PARTY ANNOUNCE LAW AND ORDER POLICY

The National Party of New Zealand is pleased to announce a ground-breaking new law and order policy that draws ideas from some of the finest talkback minds of their generation.

Today the National Party have announced the setting up of boot camps for young offenders. Justice Minister Amy Adams says young offenders, who scare old white people the most out of any group of offenders, will be sent to the cold and damp of the Waiouru Army Base. While there they would receive training in how to do push ups and lying in mud for hours at a time.

“Marching is a very important to character building,” said Adams, “Just look how smart all those soldiers in the People’s Army of North Korea look when they are marching in unison. Just fantastic. That’s what we want for our young people.”

Ms Adams said undoubtedly there would be some concerns from some sectors of society, but she was quick to dismiss those worries.

“What better way to deal with young people who have had some of the harshest of upbringings,” she said, “by inflicting a concentrated 12-week programme of physical and emotional abuse before sending them back out onto the streets.”

The National Party said those young people who refuse to attend the boot camp will be sent to an adult jail where they will receive the same training.

ENDS

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One response

  1. Oresome! LOL

    Like

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