TRANSCRIPT: Phone call between President Donald J. Trump of the United States of America and Prime Minister Bill English of Southland.
BILL: Hello… Bill speaking
THE DONALD: Hey buddy. It’s The Donald here. How the hell are you?
THE DONALD: The Donald.
BILL: Sorry, who? Who is the Donald?
THE DONALD: Me. I am The Donald.
BILL: Yes. I know. But who is the Donald. Who are you?
THE DONALD (slightly agitated): Oh for chrissakes! I am The Donald. I am The goddam Donald?
BILL (long pause): Um… OK… and what is it that you do Mr. The Donald?
THE DONALD (quickly getting more agitated): I’m the goddam president!!
BILL: The president of what?
THE DONALD (seething with blind fury): The goddam President of the United States of America. You goddam idiot!!
BILL: Oh… that The Donald…
THE DONALD (utterly enraged): Yes I’m that The Donald. How many other Donalds are there?!!?!?
THE DONALD (apoplectic): What?!!!???!?
BILL: Donald Duck… that’s another Donald.
THE DONALD (psychoticly apoplectic): I don’t have to speak to you! I’m the king of the free world and your just a snivelling little shit from the boon docks. Shove it up your ass!!!
*slams phone down*
BILL (smiling): Snivelling indeed you orange racist.