The Phone Call

TRANSCRIPT: Phone call between President Donald J. Trump of the United States of America and Prime Minister Bill English of Southland.

Hello. It’s me.I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet.

BILL: Hello… Bill speaking

THE DONALD: Hey buddy. It’s The Donald here. How the hell are you?

BILL: Who?

THE DONALD: The Donald.

BILL: Sorry, who? Who is the Donald?

THE DONALD: Me. I am The Donald.

BILL: Yes. I know. But who is the Donald. Who are you?

THE DONALD (slightly agitated): Oh for chrissakes! I am The Donald. I am The goddam Donald?

BILL (long pause): Um… OK… and what is it that you do Mr.The Donald?

THE DONALD (quickly getting more agitated): I’m the goddam president!!

BILL: The president of what?

THE DONALD (seething with blind fury): The goddam President of the United States of America. You goddam idiot!!

BILL: Oh… that The Donald…

THE DONALD (utterly enraged): Yes I’m that The Donald. How many other Donalds are there?!!?!?

BILL: Duck?

THE DONALD (apoplectic): What?!!!???!?

BILL: Donald Duck… that’s another Donald.

THE DONALD (psychoticly apoplectic): I don’t have to speak to you! I’m the king of the free world and your just a snivelling little shit from the boon docks. Shove it up your ass!!!
*slams phone down*

BILL (smiling): Snivelling indeed you orange racist.

ENDS

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