Renewal is here… ackshully

With the recent resignation of Her Ladyship Hekia Parata, questions are being asked about the National Party’s ability to represent all the people of Aotearoa. MyThinks travelled to a gated community in the decile 47 suburb of Remuera to find out.

    MyThinks: Thanks for joining us Prime Minister. 

    John: Yeahnah thanks for having me.

    MyThinks: I’m at your house, but never mind. Prime Minister… with the resignation of Minister Parata from your cabinet, are you at all concerned that you are no longer representative of everyone in New Zealand? 

    John: Whaddaya mean?

    MyThinks: Well even at the moment with your current cabinet, there really are only a handful of members who aren’t old white dudes.

    John: Yeahnah… no I mean just nah. Nah. 

    MyThinks: Nah you do mean yeah.

    John: Yeahnah I do mean nah. We’re not just old white dudes. We’ve got heaps of chi… womans and some others.

    (Let the record show that the Prime Minister made finger quotes in the air when saying others)

    MyThinks: I think you’ll find it’s mostly old white dudes.MyThinks did some research and the average age of cabinet is 52, the average shade is pinky cream, and 60% of cabinet are men. Old. White. Dudes.

    John: We have a very diverse team… so… Ackshully you’re wrong.

    MyThinks: Ackshully… I’m not. There’s you, Bill English, Steven Joyce, Nick Smith, Murray McCully… all white… all dudes… all old…

    John: What abo…

    MyThinks: …Gerry Brownlee, Todd McClay, Chris Finlayson, Judith Collins, Simon Bridges…

    John: Wait a minute… He’s young…

    MyThinks: …Jonathan Coleman…

    John: He’s a doctor…

    MyThinks: …Michael Woodhouse and Todd McClay.

    John: Yeahnah… but what about old Westie and thingy-ma-bob who used to do corrections before Mr. Collins? And that one that was Education Minister before Hekia. They’re all… um… not like me.

    MyThinks: Yes… you’re right, but my point is… with all those rich old guys stearing the ship, how can you possibly know what’s going on for the homeless in Auckland or the people working two jobs and still having to use foodbanks?

    John: Look… I saw the news last night. I know there are some Bad Hombres out on struggle street but I’m not going stand here and promise things I can’t give them.

    MyThinks: Like tax cuts?

    John: Yeahnah they won’t be getting those.

    MyThinks: What will they be getting?

    John: Look… I can’t stand here and talk to you all day… espeshully when the questions get really hard. I’m a very rich and important man with lots to do. Now if you’ll excuse me I’m having my driveway wallpapered. Goodbye.

    MyThinks showed themselves out.

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