Parliament…. is out…. for winter!

With parliament in a lengthy recess, MyThinks thought it was appropriate to head out there to find out what your elected officials were up to during their days out of Wellington. 

John Key, Prime Minister: I’ve been travelling around the world doing all sorts of interesting stuff. I’ve met with several world leaders and I spent some time in Malaysia trying to run away from this Todd McClay nonsense. I mean, really, imagine saying one thing and then the truth turning out to be the exact opposite. That was very disappointing having to deal with that. I would never have operated like that. I’m looking forward to returning to parliament to hound the opposition about their policy platform before adopting the very same policy platform about a month later.

Paula Bennett, Social Housing Minister: During my holiday I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking and reflecting. Thinking about how awesome I am and reflecting on how awesome I am. You know, I was the politician that offered people $5000 to move out of Auckland following a similar policy to offer people $3000 to move to Auckland. That’s pretty awesome. I’m pretty awesome. What a great holiday.

Bill English, The Other Housing Minister: I spent my holiday reading a book about pivot irrigators.

Bzzzzzzzz…. the bees are away from the honey-pot

Todd McClay, Trade Minister: What have I done on my holiday? I’m not allowed to make any comment on anything any more. I’ve been banned from talking. Even answering this question could get me in hot water with the PM. Are you aware how great he is? I am. He’s really great. Really, really great.

Steven Joyce, Minister of Innovation, Employment, Business, and Cleaning Up Shit: I’ve had a pretty awesome break. I put on a hard-hat and a flouro vest and paraded about a muddy building site with Nick Smith to announce something we had already announced in the budget. It’s important to keep announcing stuff – especially the stuff you have absolutely no intention of doing – because then it looks like you’re doing something. So that’s what I’ve been doing.

Hekia Parata, Education Minister: I’ve spent a lot of time this recess consulting with a range of stakeholders across the educational community. I’ve been accepting submissions on a number of different projects and ideas we are developing. It is hugely important to me as a minister in this government that I consult widely with all relevant stakeholders at every available opportunity. So, yes, I’ve spent my recess at my holiday house drinking chardonnay and talking to nobody.

Metiria Turei, Green Party Co-Leader: During my holiday I suggested we try to reduce house prices gradually rather than having them fall 40% in one giant and economically devastating correction. I was mocked out of Wellington by the people who have created the conditions for this potential disaster. I didn’t say much else after that.

David Seymour, ACT Leader and Secretary Under the Education Minister: I spent my holidays at the Scout Jamboree in Takaka. I got my knot-tying badge and we spent an afternoon at the local aged care facility where we made brownies for the residents. I also went to that awesome Lego exhibition and saw Finding Dory about 4 times.

Andrew Little, Labour Party Leader: I spent a lot of time on this break reacting to the nonsense coming from the National Party, visiting people who work two jobs but can’t afford a house, selling Labour Party policy (which we expect to be stolen at some point soon), developing policy to deal with various economic crises arising from the mismanagement by the National-led government and hunting new hair for Peter Dunne.

Murray McCully, Foreign Minister: I’m still here. I am indestructible. I am like that squeaky ball-bearing in the shopping trolley – incredibly irritating yet utterly essential to the smooth forward movement of this juggernaut. You can’t get rid of me. I will be here forever. Plus, I have a folder on every single one of you.


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