Greetings and salutations my beautiful subjects.
Some people have been asking questions of me in parliament recently. How dare they. Do they not realise who I am?
I am the Police Minister. The Minister of Police. I am the National Party minister in charge of telling the police what to do. For goodness sake. Who does that uppity little pipsqueak from Labour think he is?
As I said in parliament, if the police are going to crack down on those people breaking the law by travelling in their car at a higher speed than legislation allows, then they are going to be spending all their driving time looking at their speedometers and none of their time looking at the road.
This is just dangerous.
Drivers should be looking at the road when they’re driving. That’s just common sense. The police shouldn’t be ticketing people if they are going 3 or 4 or 5 kilometres over the speed limit. They should be working on other things like crushing cars.
It’s important to point out that my comments about people speeding has absolutely nothing to do with the recent stories about ministerial cars regularly cracking the 100kph+ zone. These two stories are completely unrelated.
Thank you all, my darlings. See you next time.