PM: Failed flag referendum a “massive success”

The Prime Minister says the flag debate has been a success, regardless of which flag ends up winning the referendum.

Whether or not the new silver fern tea-towel design – the PM’s preference – wins or the old Union Jack flag is retained, John Key says the process has been a success.

“This has been a great process.” he said at a stand-up outside Sky City Casino earlier today where he was again criticising Labour’s Future of Work proposals with the many CrosbyTextor lines such as “barking mad,” and “59 billion,” he has been using in recent days.

The Prime Minister told his compliant media friends the process has been a victory for democracy.

“More than two million people have voted,” he said, “that’s more than the population of most of the South Island I think. This really has been a successful process.”

When one of the media pointed out that most of New Zealand, including the RSA, young people, middle-aged people, and older people had told him to “piss off,” Key was defiant.

“No, I don’t think that’s the case,” he said, “People have told me over and over again during this process that the it’s not every day they get to vote in something this expensive and unnecessary.

“We are making people vote,” he said, “This is forced democracy at it’s finest. People were so scared that some stupid piece of tat was going to end up as their national flag – and this close to an olympics – that they felt  they had to get out there and vote. They felt they needed to vote to stop a $2 shop tea towel being raised when in Rio. I’m the most democratic Prime Minister ever!”

When asked about how this failed referendum would reflect on his legacy as Prime Minister, Key said, “I don’t need a legacy. At the end of the day I’ve got millions so, yeah, nah. Right… I’m off to hide in Hawaii for a bit.”

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