With voting papers for John Key’s flag referendum in the post MyThinks thought we should interview the government’s chief flag waver Maggie Barry. We tracked her down in a Takapuna cafe wearing nothing but the flag she is voting for.
MT: Ms Barry.
MB: That is me. Please sit down young man.
MT: Thank you. I’m going to get straight into it. Now, the government has been scrambling this week over the referendum. You’ve been fronting all the media. Why isn’t the Prime Minister doing any media?
MB: Oh, it’s not that the PM isn’t doing any media. He’s still talking to The Edge about his shower/toilet and he’s been on Hosking’s show many times. After all, Hosking is the official broadcaster of the National Party.
MT: OK then. So the Lockwood design – what are your thoughts? It’s a bit of a mish mash isn’t it?
MB: I think it’s fantastic. It’s got the fern on it. And some stars. And a bit of blue and black. It really says everything about who we are as a country. We are a nation of $2 shops and this design is already on the products inside every single one.
MT: Yes. I got a lockwood tea towel the other day. So does John Key feel embarrassed by this whole process? Are the knives out in caucus for his presiding over such a failed process?
MB: Oh lord no. John Key’s backed a winner here. We are going to take out this referendum. John’s a winner. Such a winner.
MT: And what is your polling saying?
MB: That we’re going to lose but signs are positive.
MT: Positive of what?
MB: That this will all be over soon…
MT: Indeed. In retrospect do you think there was anything you could have done differently?
MB: Oh no. I think everyone – the flag consideration panel, the designers, the National Party, and all the other supporters – did everything John Key wanted.
*slight pause on tape*
MB: Um… so when does the interview start?
MT: What? Oh… sorry… no we’re already done.
MB: Oh…. oh dear. I didn’t mean for any of that to be on the record…. I’m not even in actual clothes… Do you do takesie-backsies?
MB: Oh well… that’s me back on Judith’s side then. See you.
MT: Yes, minister.