Minister announces exciting funding formula for education

Current Education Minister and well-loved closer Hekia Parata, has today announced a hugely exciting development in her charter schools policy.

The minister, speaking in front of a crowd of six as a guest at the ACT Party conference, outlined her plans to boost the performance of charter schools.

“The idea is to bring us in line with much of the public sector and many different private sector organisations,” the minister told the packed loungeroom, “by paying performance bonuses even when performance targets haven’t been met.”

Ms. Parata said charter school targets were only really suggested outcomes and it didn’t really matter if schools met them or not because, at the end of the day, the government was going to give them anything they wanted.

The speech was given a warm applause by the six old white dudes in the audience who were all in agreement that government subsidies were terrible when given to the poor, but wise and sensible when given to the rich.

When asked by waiting reporters how she was going to bridge the gap between funding levels of state schools and their operating costs, the minister laughed. And laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed.


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