Parata announces ministry triumph

Hekia Parata, the well-loved and widely respected Minister for Education has today clarified some of the spending on the new Ministry of Education headquarters in central Wellington.

In a brief statement to a compliant media, Ms Parata said the spending was in line with other spending by other government spenders. She said people spent too much time focusing on the amount of spending and spent too little time looking at the quality of the spending.

“You need to remember this is a new building for my ministry. We can’t have people walking in here still thinking it’s MBIE.”

Ms Parata was careful to outline the significance of some of the items.

“The grand staircase to the roof signifies our struggle to get up to the top floors without going into the dirty stairwell that still smells a bit like Patrick Gower. We’re also excited to announce a $7.3 million revamping of our MySpace profile. These are both important to the education of our mokopuna.”

When asked about where the money is coming from for these big-ticket items the minister was quick to point out the closure or merging of several schools in recent years, including one charter, and a complete lack of capital spending at many others stating, “that saved us heaps, so we rewarded ourselves with a choice-as staircase and a meeting lounge for cappuccino.”

A world-champion barista has been hired to operate the Italian coffee machine. The minister says not only does he make excellent coffee, he is also very handsome and has an incredibly sexy accent.

The official Education Ministry barista was unavailable for comment.

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One response

  1. Brilliant.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

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