Joyce takes it on the chin

Minister for Just About Everything, Steven Joyce, is laughing off a recent Waitangi Day incident which saw him come face-to-face with a giant rubbery truncheon thrown by a member of the public.

The woman, known only as Hero Lady, threw the item at Joyce while the minister was giving big ups to the Trans-Pacific Partnership – the secret trade deal that hardly anybody in the signatory nations will benefit from.

Joyce was in mid-sentence when the adult item struck him with some force on one of his many jowels. The audible slapping sound awoke Nathan Guy, Farming Minister, from a brief open-eyed slumber he was having just to Joyce’s left.

When asked about it later Joyce said, “These rent-a-crowd types are all over the place. It’s unsurprising that one or two would turn up to Waitangi with something sexy to say. I’m just glad it was me and not one of our more fragile cabinet ministers like Anne Tolley or Todd McClay.”

Joyce told media the item in question had been taken back to Wellington by the Diplomatic Protection Squad for a series of vigorous tests.


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