Parata: School is totally like the All Blacks

Hello and welcome to a few thoughts from my brain. I’ve noticed many times in the past my brain quite often emerges from days of morose slumber to utter the most astoundingly profound musings that I really do have to write them down immediately and get my vast team of media-savvy boffins to crack out a quick meme.

Yesterday was no exception.

After joining my fellow National MPs and smothering my dainty hands all over the world cup I had absolutely nothing to do with winning, I had the idea to compare the New Zealand education system to the All Blacks. Why not? The All Blacks are one of the single most successful brands this country has ever produced.

Don’t we want that for our children?

It was clear to me. In order to win, far from having the best attacking players, or the most impenetrable defensive line, the AB’s clearly use data-driven analysis of their opponents to achieve at the highest possible level and then improve on that. Winning the world cup is a great example of a very good achievement.

The All Blacks won that final last weekend. They won it because they used more data than any other team. They used all of that data on the field, kicking it all around, tripping the Australians up with it, and ultimately dotting some of the data down under the posts for a match-sealing uber-try in the last-minute of the game.

It was the single greatest use of data I have ever seen.

When I got into the office on Monday morning I said, “If the All Blacks are using data so well and in so many different ways, why can’t those damn teachers get it into their heads that data is going to make them better. Put that on my goddam facebook, will you!”

Obviously my black-ops media people didn’t fly with that initial pronouncement. No, they went away on an all-expenses paid taxpayer-funded trip to the Huka Lodge and nutted a few things out. On Thursday they returned to Wellington, sunbed tans clearly visible, with their idea. It was fantastic. It really summed up everything I had been thinking since the weekend win and put it all in a tidy little soundbite.

If you read the meme it really does remind me of a young Apirana Ngata. The syntax is golden; the verbiage flows; the message is succinct and instantly sharable. It’s almost as if I’d actually said the words at some point. Hekia

After all… it’s all about meme.


2 responses

  1. Brilliant yet again. 😊


  2. And sometimes the ball bounces the right way!


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