Government announces exciting education plans

PRESS RELEASE: Ministry of Education / Department of Corrections

The government is pleased to announce the awarding of a brand new chartnership school contract to award-winning prison operator Serco.

Hekia Parata, Minister for Edurections, made the announcement at a breakfast speech to the Tauranga Rotary Club earlier today. She says the prison operator Serco is the ideal partner for the government as it expands its chartnership school programme.

The latest contract, signed with Serco last week, combines the best parts of both the worlds of education and corrections.

Head of Serco New Zealand, Dr Archibald Nocomment, has said the new school is a very exciting development for his organisation.

“We hope that our inmates will learn heaps in the hour a day they are allowed into our innovative learning environment. There are many bean bags and break-out spaces as well as plenty of balconies at this well catered for facility. All the balconies have great views and are excellent places to learn about concepts of gravity and flight. Also, we’re very excited about the innovative physical education programme centered around a self-managed boxing club.”

Minister Parata says only the most deserving of students will spend time at the exciting new institution.

“We will pick the students from across the country. The lucky candidates will be chosen based on their literacy and numeracy skills and their ability to construct shanks out of everyday items.”

The campus, being constructed deep in the Ureweras, is due to open early next year just in time for the beginning of the school term. Ms. Parata says the school will offer a wide range of NCEA courses and possibly, if time allows, rote learning of the times tables.

Peseta Sam Lotu-Liga, Minister of Correctucation, said “baaaaaaablblblbblalalalalaghghhghgagajgalgkjagj! Not listening! Not listening!!!”



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s