Hullo New Zlnd.
I am your beloved prime minister and all-round deliverer of things to you. Unless you are on the benefit or live in one of those Housing NZ houses with the awesome views up near my place inRemuera.
I thought it was important that I set the record straight following a few allegations that have been made by one of the main Saturday papers this morning.
I’d like to categorically state, for the record, as your beloved prime minister, I have never taken any money that would be classed as “dirty” by those people who can’t win elections like me. Have you seen? I’ve won heaps of elections.
I suppose the most worrying thing about all of these misplaced accusations is that they are absolutely and totally wrong. I have many dinners with many people that give me many hundreds of thousands of dollars. I can’t be expected to remember all of them.
It’s also important to point out that although there was a donation of $25,000 made to the National Party by Mr Liu, the donation was not made to me as the prime minister, but to the management trust that is responsible for masking where the National Party’s donations actually come from and how vast they are. I was attending in my capacity as the leader of the National Party, not as the PM, so I think we can agree that that’s all ok.
I’d also point out that Jamie Lee Ross has actually paid the donation back out of his own pocket so not only do the National Party win on the deal but Jamie can claim that back due to the fact that for people like us tax is only really an optional extra.
The other thing that needs to be pointed out is this: dinner is a very important meal. If you don’t eat dinner then you get hungry around 10pm and end up eating toast or biscuits or chocolate or other rubbish. Mr Liu realised this and invited me around for my tea. It was a delicious mixture of traditional Chinese cuisine and $100 notes in brown envelopes.
I hope that’s cleared everything up.
Bring on the Northland by-election.