Monthly Archives: January, 2015

Crossroads

I am at a crossroads with this blog. Last year was quite confronting for reasonably thinking people such as myself disgusted with what the Beehive leadership was doing to our democracy.

Yet, as the many millions the National Party spend on daily polling of “ordinary” New Zealanders, it turns out that yes, indeed, the things they are most worried about are those everyday things like health, education, housing and stuff. Using the SIS to further the political ambitions of the governing party, not so worried about.

For National to receive nearly 50% of the party vote (of those people who voted, mind) is confusing at best. Voters either believe John Key and his party, or they trust his lies more than the lies of someone who hasn’t been elected yet.

It all really comes down to a few questions: what is the point? Am I just writing this blog to make myself feel better – to vent my fury by taking swipes at those people who I truly believe will ruin this country for most of us? Am I actually changing anything with my words? What does spending all this time and energy satirising and lampooning the establishment actually achieve? Am I wasting my time preaching to the converted?

Over the holiday period while spending time in Manapouri with the people I love it dawned on me that, despite some of my posts being full of a great amount of hilarity, the are rarely positive. That is, they are satirical pieces that, if they were on twitter and 140 characters or less, would probably be defined as trolling. Yes they are dressed up with all manner of gaggery and hilarious tomfoolery, but they are, none the less, a negative force.

At the end of the day, lampooning the National Party in this country will get you slated through Whale Oil, Kiwiblog and the sharp mind of Lord Steven Joyce, Grandmaster of the Everything.

Never will they engage in legitimate and reasonable argument with you if there’s any hint that your argument is legitimate and reasonable and on the moral side of the equation.

So again I say, what is the point?

If I put my time and energy into something more positive than trying bring down a disaster of a two-track government, then maybe I’ll be less outraged about everything.

Apathy is winning this race.

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Rodney Hide: speed is not the issue here

Hello. My name is Rodney Hide and this is my column.

During my column I generally make outlandish statements. Sometimes they are thinly disguised racism; sometimes they are telling the Greens they are a bunch of fruitcakes. Whichever way you look at it, if my opinions are great enough to be published in a weekly newspaper, then they must be important.

Here is another one of them.

We all do it. He does it. You do it. I do it. Gosh, even our former Prime Minister Helen “Of Troy” Clark did it.

What am I talking about? Speeding. According to the latest figures I was emailed by the PR company paying for this opinion, around 106% of all drivers speed at some point in their driving career. The other 17% are lying.

We all know that speeding is just part of arsenal available to excellent drivers such as myself. I mean, I have a fairly late-model European import, hand-crafted in Germany by illegal migrant workers. It has been built for the Autobahn. When I travel down the Auckland motorway at exactly 100kph the GPS sighs at me and says, “stellen sie ihren fuß auf das gaspedal sie kätzchen,” and quite rightly too. The car is built to travel at over 180kph and to just travel at 100 is an insult.

You do the maths. If you are travelling behind a truck and trailer going at 90kph you need over three kilometres of open road just to pass it. That’s why you get so many excited drivers trying to run each other off the road as they attempt to make it to Queenstown to get the best camp-site or park near the gondola.

Even though I have a very expensive car and loads of money, I like driving at the speed limit. If I have to pass I make sure of it though and I’ll get up to about 25okph to burn off those slow coaches. Then I slow down to the speed limit again to continue my journey safely until I come up against another useless driver who I’ll pass at the maximum.

Now. If I got caught speeding I could lose my licence or my flash car. Luckily, thanks to my years in parliament, I know a lot of people currently high up in the New Zealand police force and if I finish this sentence I could lose a lot more than my licence or my sweet German ride.

The only thing I will say about the police and their zero tolerance policy on speed is this: it is a complete waste of time and resources. The speed limit is just a suggestion and because it’s a law that I don’t agree with then I’m going to criticise it profusely because I don’t believe that I should be penalised for breaking a law that is obviously so ridiculous.

Unlike those cheating the benefit system out of tax dollars, speeding is a victimless crime (unless you crash into someone and hurt them). I shouldn’t have to abide by a law that I don’t agree with.

Murder is also a victimless crime. There are many, many people out there who I don’t think should be walking the street but God help me if I go out there or I hire someone else to go out there to take them out. Apparently you just can’t do that. It’s against the “law.”

Well… it’s a stupid law. Drafted by stupid people. Stupid people who work in stupid Wellington for stupid money.

Until the government realise that I’m rich and the law doesn’t apply to me and my friends then the better off we will all be.

Happy holidays.

Rodders.

2014 in review

Here is a little summary of what happened on My Thinks this year…

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 19,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 7 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.