Hello everyone. I’m Local Government Minister and chief National Party sass-machine Paula Bennett. I’ve been asked by MyThinks to write more about our plans to review and reject all of those stupid and loopy rules that many of our tiny but incredibly self-important local bodies have brought in over the years.
I mean, you only have to talk to all those sexy tradies or listen to late night talkback to realise just how rampant this problem is.
Today I’m going to highlight just a few examples of some of these crazy, insane rules.
It has been said that shower curtains in certain dwellings in Morrinsville. In its wisdom, the council there has suggested that all shower curtains must be no less than 5 feet, 7 inches high and no more than 6 feet, 1 inch high. What about all those people in Morrinsville who are 6 feet, 2 inches in height? Won’t any member of the public entering their bathroom will see their forehead. Crazy.
Those builders who are generously hairated in their eyebrow regions will face difficultly getting work in Darfield as the council there have decided that you are not able to construct a deck unless eyebrows have over 1423 individual hairs of the original colour of the tradesperson. Insanity!
Whoop – there it is!
Aparrantly, if I want to use the boat ramp at Portobello near Dunedin I have to spend an appropriate amount of time – no less than 7 minutes and no more than 12.5 minutes – getting jiggy with it to any pre-2000 hit from Will “Fresh Prince” Smith. Music is supplied by the local cafe and your dance can be recorded on video and uploaded to the council website. Utter madness!!!
So obviously with that amount of proof the plan for the National Party to crack down on these totally unnecessary regulations.
Right, I’m off to a karaoke event in Henderson.