It’s been a tough week for me

Kia ora everyone. Hekia speaking.

It’s been a rough week for me. In between consulting relevant stakeholders and going through the latest chartnership school applications, I’ve had to spend a lot of time batting off questions about the education policy released by the Labour Party last weekend.

I don’t want to get into the ins and outs of the education policy because there are so many things wrong with it they would be too numerous to mention and the Internet is only a finite resource. In saying that, however, there are a few things that I’d like to put straight.

The National Party of Aotearoa New Zealand do not believe in bigger class sizes. You can tell from our education policy. We quite clearly state in our policy that we are building a better education system. Of course, this implies (and quite rightly in my opinion), that our education system is not currently as good as it could be.

There are many, many things wrong with our education system. Take, for example, our international rankings using the fabled PISA rankings from the OECD. New Zealand are currently 16th in OECD for Maths, 11th in Science and 9th in Reading. This is just not good enough. What is even worse is that we are going backwards. When the first OECD rankings were released in 2000, when Labour were in power, New Zealand were 3rd in Maths, 6th in Science and 3rd in Reading.

The blame for this fall in performance can be squarely laid at the food of the Labour Party and their current policy of bigger class sizes. That’s had a massive impact on all our current students. All their parents and the media are talking about is class sizes.

What is clear to me as a minister of the crown with many years of experience in letting PR consultants develop my education policy on behalf of several well-respected party donors, this is having a retrospective impact on student learning in this country. Our students are getting stupider because they think Labour is going to make their lives better by getting rid of National’s Standards, reducing class sizes, increasing device uptake and reducing school reliance on ‘donations.’

This couldn’t be further from the truth. If you read Labour’s policy it doesn’t say anything of the sort. In fact, and I’ve read the summary of the PDF my press secretary gave me, it clearly states how the party is going to syphon off the most successful students and put them to work in the salt pits of Lake Grassmere chipping salt to export to Russia for use in the infamous sauerkraut and turnip bottling factories of Siberia. If my press secretary says it’s true, then it definitely is. I wouldn’t just be getting any old advice to make me feel better about myself.

The other thing to remember about the National Party is how committed we are to each other. Check out this picture:

#TeamKey is the best policy National has ever had.

#TeamKey is the best policy National has ever had.

Aren’t we a happy team? Look how engaged we all are with John and his amazing ideas (I think he had drawn a cartoon depicting something derogatory about the Greens or beneficiaries or women (or all three) and was pointing it out to Bill. It was really quite hilarious). Yes, I’m not in the picture. There was only a certain amount of room available in the picture otherwise it wouldn’t have fitted on the #TeamKey website. You’ll also notice that other National Party people aren’t in that picture as well. But look at all the women! There are over one women!! That shows how diverse we are – particularly when you look at Ms Bennett’s ethnically inclusive spray tan.

I’ve been speaking for too long. Suffice it to say the National Party of Aotearoa New Zealand is so confident of winning the election against a hapless Labour / Green / ManaInternetMana / NZ First / Others coalition that we are betting all our money on John Key.

We are the first party in the history of New Zealand to go into an election without a single policy. Look at our website. I challenge you to find a single policy ANYWHERE. Yes, we have ‘plans’ and ‘ideas,’ but there are no policies. None at all. Just bullet points.

That is how awesome we are.

By releasing a whole bunch of education policies this week, Labour have proved just how out of touch they are with the New Zealand I believe in.

National – working for a brighter future for New Zealand learners and their parent voters.

Hekia x


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