Following the recent release of populist policies by Labour leader David Cunliffe, government minister and National Party strategist Steven Joyce has come up with a list of questions you stupid liberal pinky journey should be asking.
- How is Labour going to pay for all the policies it is currently releasing? With money?
- If Cunliffe thinks this policy is so great why doesn’t he go and live in Stalinist Russia or Australian or most of Europe who already have this type of thing?
- Why doesn’t Cunliffe put up or shut up. What other policies does he have? Why can’t we know them all immediately instead of being drip-fed over a number of weeks?
- Has he seen The Hobbit yet? If not, why not?
- When the lights went out at parliament the other night I lost my keys. Has he seen them? If not, why not?
- Is he aware that Lorde won some Grammys this week?
- I’ve also mislaid my wallet so I was wondering if he could spot me a deuce?
- Can he tell me the answer to 6 across (a letter in section, Theodore)?
- In what year did Red Rum win the Grand National?
- Which year did he arrive in New Zealand from outer space?
- Is he aware we live in a sovereign democratic nation and it could be argued that stealing votes off the ruling coalition is a treasonous offense?
- If a train leaves Grand Central Station travelling west at 70 km/hr and another leaves Chicago travelling east at 67 km/hr, how long will it take for you to admit your policy is rubbish?
- Did you know that I don’t like you very much?
- You are ridiculous.
I know that last question was a statement but I think it’s important that the media are far more probing against the Labour Party because everybody knows that when they spend money they are pulling it out of a rabbit’s bum, but when we spend it, it comes from wise spending decisions such as cutting taxes and giving millions to teachers. Paddy Gower is just not asking the right questions.
I think that should sort out a few things.
Insanely worded press release ends.