Asset Sale Announced

The government have announced the latest state asset sale as part of their privatisation programme.

Speaking from a lavish function in Sri Lanka, paid for in part by Fonterra and underpaid Tamil labour, John Key announced the sale of a 49% stake in TV3 Political Editor, Patrick Gower.

Mr Gower, the chief parliamentary brain behind the independent media network that still operates in part thanks to Stephen Joyce being mates with a number of people who work there, has been government owned since taking over from Duncan Garner.

Key said that this would be a fantastic opportunity for mums and dads to get their hands on a quality government asset.

“It’s a great chance for ordinary hard-working kiwi mums and dads who have some spare money left over at the end of an 80 hour working week working two jobs to try and keep their heads above water in the ever more ridiculous levels of the cost of living in Auckland and other parts of the country to buy a share in something they already own.”

Gower is reported to be delighted by the sale saying although he will be 49% foreign owned, he will remain 100% controlled by the National-led government.

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