SECRET DIARY ENTRY: HEKIA PARATA, MINISTER FOR EDUCATION (ACCIDENTAL RELEASE)
16 November, 2012
I would like to say good afternoon to everyone, however I’m waiting on advice from my advisors as to the goodness of the afternoon. As we head in to the early evening I am confident that I will receive the necessary feedback at the appropriate juncture.
Well, with the formalities out of the way, how are you all? I’m doing great down here in Wellington. This week has been especially amazeballs because I got to meet the Prince of Wales. I really love Raspberry Beret so it was great to finally met him. He was pretty choice, although his missus was a bit stink. Her hongi was all over the place.
Someone emailed my office the other day complaining about Novopay. I emailed them back saying I’d look into it. I’ve just finished looking into the email they sent me. I also read my reply. I hope that will settle everything. They did email back just now but I think I might ignore it, or get Stephen Joyce to issue some kind of press release that blames Nicky Hagar or the Greens Quantitative Easing plans.
Oh man it was a tough week in Christchurch. I went down there and everyone was asking me these questions. Parents were asking me why I was closing schools. Teachers were asking me why I was closing schools. Principals were asking me why I was closing schools. It was a tough day. But as I said at the time, it’s important to realise that the big winners are going to be the catering after the excellent sausage rolls and cherios they put out. Awesome.
I also had a meeting with Johnson Archibald Key or as we street-wise National types like to call him Johnny K, Big Jacky or JKey Double A+ (that’s his credit rating). He asked me how the education system was going and I said, “Yep.” He seemed pretty happy with that and high-fived me before headed down to Bellamy’s for a custard square and a cuppa. I’m not sure he knows about Novopay yet. Hopefully he doesn’t watch the news. Or read newspapers. Or blogs. Or newspaper blogs.
Well… that’s about it from me for this week diary. No word from the advisors yet so I won’t be saying goodbye.