Monthly Archives: July, 2009

The Day After Tomorrow

Well, well, well…

I don’t know how achievable this is but I’ve signed up to the August version of National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo for short!!). Their only requirement is that you post every day for a month. I thought my birthday month would be a good time to try.
So from the day after tomorrow what you will get is a daily dose of me!
Sweet.
Boon x

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IVF

Hello once again.

We’ve talked about the foreign world for long enough and those of you unfamiliar with my fatness to fitness page may want to find out more about Boon. It’s also been a long time since I updated my about me page so apologies for that also.

As the title of this post suggests the focus for myself and Mrs. Boon is turning towards IVF with a ‘day one’ appointment coming up very shortly. Day one does sound a little like ground zero but it is, less ominously, the day in which everything IVF begins in earnest.

Before we start let’s delve into a little background…

We have been trying for children for a few years now. Due to various health experiences she had had in the past the wife had always suspected there might be an issue with our ability to conceive children the natural way. After attending a fertility seminar last year we decided to pay for a consultation with a private fertility guru – Dr Mary Birdsall from Fertility Associates Auckland. As a result, we were put on the fertility waiting list and now we find ourselves just a couple of months out from our first appointment. An extension of the story here can be found by clicking here.

There was an operation earlier this year and since we were already on the waiting list for IVF we bumped ourselves to September so that conception might happen as the higher powers intented. Alas this is not the case and we find September just over a month away now and resignation has begun to set in. Children may not happen for us without scientific intervention.

With this resignation comes other thoughts… Will we ever have children? What will our lives be like without kids? Because we have been trying for so long it seems that having a baby is our life at the moment. And sometimes you do think terrible things like, “when this is over and we don’t end up with any kids we might be able to go to Vegas for a cool holiday” This is one of the many, many times when guilt sets in.

This whole process makes you feel guilty in the first place because things aren’t happening correctly. You feel guilty in the second place because you’ve just thought out beyond your current predicament – a time when IVF may fail and you may not ever have kids of your own. I keep telling myself it is a coping mechanism but it doesn’t really help. Guilt is always there bubbling away and will lift its head up and roar its guilty roar at any moment.

For example, I saw a pregnant lady on the street the other day and I thought to myself, “cow, how come she’s pregnant and we’re not?” The roar of the guilt monster invades my brainspace.

The trouble with fertility is many-fold but key to it, as I’ve mentioned previously, is the fact that it takes a long, long time. You only get 12 chances a year – fewer if your parents are staying. It’s all mathematics, peeing on sticks and timing. Very mechanical.

Everyone tries to make you feel better as well. I must be careful here because our friends and family have been remarkable and supportive through this but there are only a few people we know who have had fertility issues and really know what we’re going through. Everyone knows we’ve been trying – we could’ve kept it secret but other friends were trying at the same time and let us know so we let them know. They got pregnant and had kids as well and we’re still trying. You sometimes feel a bit left behind.

While waiting for an appointment with our fertility counsellor the other week we stumbled upon an article in a magazine. It talked about all the things people say when they are wanting to be supportive to their friends in times of unsuccessful fertility. The beautiful thing about the list of ‘sayings’ was that they had replaced fertility with the ability to walk in all of the things people said and posed the question, would people say these things to someone who couldn’t walk?

  1. If you just forget about walking, it’ll happen.
  2. Why don’t you just stand up and start walking?
  3. I had a friend and they were trying to walk for ages and ages and they ended up walking and it was great. You’ll walk just like them I bet.

The article had a very long list of similar phrases many of which we familiar to us.

Well… I have so much more to say on this issue but that’s enough for now. I will, of course, keep you posted as things happen. There will be times of sadness and anger and if you wish to communicate your experiences through the comments option on this page then do feel free.

Until next time, may all your swimmers be successful.

Boon x

PS: Here’s the link to IVF 2

I Remember the Time…

Michael Jackson was a bit of a weirdo but MAN was he a genius.

It was incredibly sad last weekend to hear of the death of the man responsible for the biggest selling album of all time – the man who not only invented the moonwalk but also a pair of gravity eluding shoes that allowed him to be the smoothest of all criminals.

In these days of uncertainty and particularly massive ponzi frauds (Sandford/Maidhof) the Jackson story seems to be the one used by the media to break us out of the gloom. Well that and swine flu (I mean that has to be the most ridiculous name for a disease ever? or was that chicken flu?).

It’s hard not to make the comparison between the generations. I was about 7 when Elvis kicked the bucket. He was the size of three 1950s vintage Elvises by the time of his death in 1977. What did Elvis give the world apart from that snake-powered pelvis and the recipe for a fried peanut-butter, banana and bacon sandwich? Well, let us begin…

Elvis Aaron Presley was born in 1935 in a shack somewhere in the south of America. He grew up in Memphis and had his first number one with his first single Heartbreak Hotel in 1956. From then on he changed the face of the recording industry. How? Well, he was the first superstar of rock. By rock I’m not talking about GnR or any of those other hair bands, I’m talking good olde fashioned rock ‘n’ roll. He started it. It was him – and the people who wrote his songs. And the fat guy Colonel Tom Sanders his manager (before you write saying I got it wrong, I’m just being stupid and gag-like).

If Elvis hadn’t happened in 1956, I doubt very much that the rest of the rock ‘n’ roll scene would have happened quite as it did then in the late 50s/early 60s. If Elvis hadn’t happened, then the neither would the Beatles. Of course, this is all my own opinion based on nothing more than years of listening to popular music and reading music stats in books and on the interweb.

As Elvis changed the face of popular music in the late 50s, so too did Michael Jackson in the early 80s. Although he did release Off the Wall in 1979, that wasn’t to have quite the same impact on the universe as Thriller when it was released in 1982. Yes, yes, yes I know he was huge in the 60s and 70s with his brothers. The Jackson 5 were massive and spawned many singalong classics, but Mr. Jackson did not become a superstar until that exact point in time. Even with the release of Thriller that still wasn’t enough. It wasn’t until he baffled and amazed the world with the debut of the moonwalk during a performance of Billie Jean at the 25th anniversary Motown concert in 1983.

That was the point in time when Michael Jackson went from being the cute kid who fronted a band of brothers to being an international megastar.

To this date Thriller has sold over twice as many albums as the next one down on the list of all time sales. If you look at the list Thriller is at the top with nearly 11o million (plus the rest since it now sits at #3 on the Billboard Comprehensive Album Sales Chart. I did, however, get the figures from Wikipedia, so they must be taken in the context of anyone being able to log on and change anything they like with this, as my friend calls it, fictionary. I don’t believe there is any doubting the Thriller impact on the world of albums, R&B and red jackets with many zippers to nowhere…

After that Jackson changed. There’s a great video that shows his dramatic metamorphosis from cute boy into the freakish waif who dangled a baby named ‘blanket’ over a balcony. Blanket!! Who the hell calls their child Blanket??? It might be something to do over possible confusion with Jacko calling his first son Prince Michael Jackson and is third-born Prince Michael Jackson as well. How could he possibly tell them apart? Maybe the fact that the first Prince Michael Jackson (Jr) and the second Prince Michael Jackson (II) weren’t exactly the same age and probably looked quite different due to their different mothers may have lessened any possible confusion.

Anyhoo, it didn’t take long for Jackson to turn from an international pop megastar into a tabloid mutant. By the mid-eighties all sorts of rumours about his life were circulating – many of which ended up being thought of as fact – and these ultimately would lead to his downfall through sex abuse claims after he said there was nothing wrong with sharing a bed with kids. So maybe it’s possible just a little bit his fault.

Another problem of the megasuperstar is the fact they are surrounded by ‘yes’ people, or they deliberately surround themselves with ‘yes’ people. You don’t want to be told ‘no’ by anyone when you have the best selling album of all time. You ask for something and if someone says, ‘well you probably shouldn’t have any more painkillers Mr. Jackson because you haven’t eaten in 4 days’ then you sack them and hire the next frothing at the mouth fan willing to do your bidding. And thusly we have found the cause of death – extenuating circumstances brought about by sycophantic delivery of prescription drugs.

Elvis died on the toilet following years of similar drug abuse. Everyone said yes to him and if they didn’t they were sacked. With many of these statements I make I must qualify them by again saying my blog is my opinion and should under no circumstances be considered fact. Although I do go hunting the interweb for facts and figures to back up my blanket statements (geddit!!) so I suppose it’s not all a load of rubbish.

A bit of a weirdo, but Michael Joseph Jackson changed the face of popular music and I doubt very much that P Diddy or Puff Bobby or any of those current hiphop idiots will have the kind of influence Jacko did.

Until next time, shamon.

Boon x