Monthly Archives: December, 2008

2008

Greetings once again for perhaps the final time this year.

On Saturday I fly off for my summer holidays with my gorgeous wife. We are spending our summer holidays in winter this year – most notably in Scotland, although sometime will be spent in Ulster and Lancaster. In any case, it better be a white Christmas, otherwise I will be sorely disappointed and may have to consider throwing freezer wall scrapings at the front door in order to feel placated.

2008 – what a year!

There have been many historical moments this year – an African American man got voted into the White House, while another, slightly less charismatic, more koywoy man got voted into Parliament House here (bloody hell! Where’s the history there???). After years of mismanagement by countless thousands of overpaid and under-performing executives, the world financial markets went into meltdown. Who would’ve thought? How unlikely. It’s all been summed up this week by the accusations laid at the feet of Bernard Madhoff and his wonderful revolving pyramid of cash investment scheme. What a dick. He got away with the alleged pilfering for so long because he traded on his name of being one of the most respected financial figures on Wall Street. If he’s the most respected and he’s diddled the world that much, what the hell else is missing out of my pension fund???? And, more to the point, what are they going to use the $700 billion for? Propping up other such schemes? Let me know when Wiley E. Coyote sets up the Acme Investment Fund using only a plank and a precariously placed anvil and we’ll see who does a better job. Stupid capitalists…

As much as we’ve all been focusing on the richer shades in the White House, I’m sure you will all agree with me when I say this: the award for most newsworthy moment of the year has to go to that brave Iraqi journalist who paid the ultimate disrespect to the leader of the free world this week by turfing his Hush Puppies at George Dubya Bush. He has been immediately hailed as a hero by most of the Middle East, and, I’m guessing, most of the Left East and Right East (i.e. rest of the world). I’m sure once or twice over the past eight years you yourself have thought about throwing some part of your clothing in the direction of one of the most useless presidents the United States has ever seen. If we were to compare George W. to, say, a 40 gallon drum of frying lard from a diner or some kind of takeaway establishment, this would be a huge insult to drums of frying lard the world over. Ultimately he is a puppet of some members of the right who thought he might do quite a good job because he was easy to manage. As with all puppets, the fist must be removed from the anus at some point, and that point is early next year. Thankfully those who thought Bush was a good idea have now melted into the background. He is the most hated president ever, if you believe the polls, and I would gladly throw my sneakers at him any day. Hopefully, after he leaves the world stage, he will end his days offering himself as a target for other brands of footwear. That’s all he’s good for. I don’t think he’s going to manage to get a multi-million dollar book deal like Clinton did, or try to solve the Middle East problems like Jimmy Carter, or slowly lose his mind while still in office like Reagan or Bush Snr.

George W. Bush’s epitaph: “I feel it is my job to be correct in my informationating.”

Enjoy catching up with your families over the holiday period. Tell them I said “hi!”

Boon x